80% of the TV that comes from America is shit. Whereas only 65% of UK telly is shit.
Fact.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Mum's The Word
There are many groups and clubs here. All the major sports and activities are covered by one or more expat society. A major one, of course, is the Mums. With hubby earning the bucks by deciding which hotel should be built next, she has the tough task of sitting in her villa (or by her private pool) with her children. Often, she only has ONE maid to help her.
She needs an outlet, so they form groups. They arrange places and times where they can meet and ignore their kids for a few hours and discuss how hard their life is.
Now last week, we decided to take our daughter to one these mornings. We knew the reputation for it being a close knit affair, but we thought our daughter might enjoy the time playing with other kids.
Upon entry I decided to deal with this myth straight away and I went to the main table where a small gaggle was seated and I cheerily said, "Hello"
The response was remarkable. Three of the coven turned their heads, mouths wide open and stared. One barely managed to cough out "Hello," in response, after about ten seconds of silence. There were no smiles, no "come and join us", no "haven't seen you before," Nothing. Zilch. All I could feel was the sense that I was deep in enemy territory and I should retreat.
I said no more and left them to natter about the terrible state of the A/C in their four-wheel drive tank that sat outside. We stayed for an hour or so and my "hello" was the first and last communication we had with this "friendly society for parents to meet each other"
Ahh, the expat life. There are definitely two sides to the coin.
She needs an outlet, so they form groups. They arrange places and times where they can meet and ignore their kids for a few hours and discuss how hard their life is.
Now last week, we decided to take our daughter to one these mornings. We knew the reputation for it being a close knit affair, but we thought our daughter might enjoy the time playing with other kids.
Upon entry I decided to deal with this myth straight away and I went to the main table where a small gaggle was seated and I cheerily said, "Hello"
The response was remarkable. Three of the coven turned their heads, mouths wide open and stared. One barely managed to cough out "Hello," in response, after about ten seconds of silence. There were no smiles, no "come and join us", no "haven't seen you before," Nothing. Zilch. All I could feel was the sense that I was deep in enemy territory and I should retreat.
I said no more and left them to natter about the terrible state of the A/C in their four-wheel drive tank that sat outside. We stayed for an hour or so and my "hello" was the first and last communication we had with this "friendly society for parents to meet each other"
Ahh, the expat life. There are definitely two sides to the coin.
Water, Water Everywhere
There's a gorgeous beach here called Al Bateen. So far it is pretty much untouched, has no views of any cranes or building work and is wonderfully quiet. It's free, not well known and has golden sand stretching for a mile or so.
But it does have a strange inhabitant. As I play in the sea with my family as the sun goes down, four or five cars seem to become very familiar to me. I see them again and again, slowly crawling along the beach road. Their windows are usually blacked out with maybe just a slight opening to allow the cigarette smoke to escape.
It soon dawns on us that they are pervs. They creep up and down this stretch of road as if we cant see them. You know how a child covers their eyes and thinks this makes them invisible? I think these guys work on the same mature theory. Some have their window fully wound down, thereby demonstrating their complete lack of self-awareness. We can see them, and they can see that we can see them, yet they continue their 10km/hr rumble along the road, sunglasses on and fag in mouth. One can only estimate what might be going through their minds as they scan the beach for a glimpse of a bikini.
But, whereas I do get rather miffed and would love to engage these "men" in conversation before ripping out their eyeballs and feeding them to them. More overpowering is my amazement that this is their best way of seeing scantily clad ladies. Have these guys not heard of the internet?One hour of MTV would be sufficient. Rent a DVD of Baywatch, if you must.
But if your culture denies you the freedom to express love and lust, go on holiday somewhere that doesn't or simply live by the rules you have chosen.
Because before long, Al Bateen beach will be a building site and a new, false paradise will be constructed. So let us enjoy this rare, natural delight without the perv-convoy.
But it does have a strange inhabitant. As I play in the sea with my family as the sun goes down, four or five cars seem to become very familiar to me. I see them again and again, slowly crawling along the beach road. Their windows are usually blacked out with maybe just a slight opening to allow the cigarette smoke to escape.
It soon dawns on us that they are pervs. They creep up and down this stretch of road as if we cant see them. You know how a child covers their eyes and thinks this makes them invisible? I think these guys work on the same mature theory. Some have their window fully wound down, thereby demonstrating their complete lack of self-awareness. We can see them, and they can see that we can see them, yet they continue their 10km/hr rumble along the road, sunglasses on and fag in mouth. One can only estimate what might be going through their minds as they scan the beach for a glimpse of a bikini.
But, whereas I do get rather miffed and would love to engage these "men" in conversation before ripping out their eyeballs and feeding them to them. More overpowering is my amazement that this is their best way of seeing scantily clad ladies. Have these guys not heard of the internet?One hour of MTV would be sufficient. Rent a DVD of Baywatch, if you must.
But if your culture denies you the freedom to express love and lust, go on holiday somewhere that doesn't or simply live by the rules you have chosen.
Because before long, Al Bateen beach will be a building site and a new, false paradise will be constructed. So let us enjoy this rare, natural delight without the perv-convoy.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Cheaper By The Twelve
The particular company I work for has an overall ethos. It is how it distuinguishes itself from its rivals and is the basis of its selling strategy.
The idea? It's all in English.
So far, no problem. Its a good idea to set out its stall like this. It sets them apart from the others out here.
However, the next stage should be ever so simple..but, alas, it's not.
You see with a company that is proud of its all english speaking design, it is curious that only a handful of employees have a full grasp of the language.
Now I dont expect cockney rhyming slang at work. Nor do I anticipate relaxed musings on Eastenders, the cast of Friends or Parkinson. What I would expect, however is some basic knowledge of english.
I can describe my thoughts or plans in pidgeon english, slowly...very........slowly. And although a smile and a "no problem" is offered, it is very rare to find later that any comprehension of what I said was ever there.
Major spelling and grammar faux pars are common place. Mutated forms of well known phrases abound ("Can you do that as quick as a stick?") and an overall strategy of listen and then ignore is usual.
Now, I'm not advocating english here, Im merely highlighting the fact that if your whole business plan is based on We Only Speak English Here, why would you employ those that can't speak or understand it to a minimum standard?
Answer?
It's cheaper this way.
The idea? It's all in English.
So far, no problem. Its a good idea to set out its stall like this. It sets them apart from the others out here.
However, the next stage should be ever so simple..but, alas, it's not.
You see with a company that is proud of its all english speaking design, it is curious that only a handful of employees have a full grasp of the language.
Now I dont expect cockney rhyming slang at work. Nor do I anticipate relaxed musings on Eastenders, the cast of Friends or Parkinson. What I would expect, however is some basic knowledge of english.
I can describe my thoughts or plans in pidgeon english, slowly...very........slowly. And although a smile and a "no problem" is offered, it is very rare to find later that any comprehension of what I said was ever there.
Major spelling and grammar faux pars are common place. Mutated forms of well known phrases abound ("Can you do that as quick as a stick?") and an overall strategy of listen and then ignore is usual.
Now, I'm not advocating english here, Im merely highlighting the fact that if your whole business plan is based on We Only Speak English Here, why would you employ those that can't speak or understand it to a minimum standard?
Answer?
It's cheaper this way.
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